Mindful Monday 22nd July

Mindful Monday 22nd July  - My dream, mantra, goal, and event this week

Hello Monday!

Usually I’m really excited about Mondays, however, I haven’t been sleeping well lately. So I was sooo tired this morning that I almost felt a bit jetlagged. I’m surprised I got through my day at the office without pouring coffee in my shoe and trying to wear the cup on my foot.

We are off to Sweden for a few days on Wednesday, and it’s exactly what I need. A bit of time with my family to just take it easy and re-energize. I haven’t really found my balance between my own blogging and the work I do for xInfluence. But I will get there, it has only been a week.

Since I’m in Sweden, my usual four posts will be cut down to two this week. I want to take the opportunity to go offline for a while and live in the real world when I’m there.

I have noticed a trend of influencers taking proper holidays and time away from social media. I think it’s really healthy and I applaud them. No one can be connected 24/7.

This is my dream, mantra, goal, and event this week; 

My mantra this week  – “Live here and now”. I just want to be present and make memories with Ace when we are in Sweden. My family doesn’t get to see him very often. So I really want to be able to fully experience those moments without having to think about anything else.

My affirmation this week – “I am allowed to relax”. Sometimes I feel like I should do things constantly. So even when I have time off I end up feeling bad for sitting down and then I run around doing stuff anyway. This week I’m going to sit down and actually enjoy doing nothing for a while.

My goal this week – My goal this week is to chill out so that my brain can process all the new experiences I have had recently. I love my new job, but I’m learning on the go. And it’s incredibly rewarding, but also quite tiring. So a little break now will be perfect before I dive in again next week.

My dream of the week  – I dream of going out for dinner on a whim. When you have kids, it’s a faff to be spontaneous. Actually, you can barely be at all. But I also know this is just a very short phase in our lives. And that makes me less stressed about it.

Mindful Monday 22nd July  - My dream, mantra, goal, and event this week

My vision this week – I have this vision of myself in my 60s with long grey hair. Btw how do you even know if you end up with white or grey hair? Maybe I will even have long white hair? If I have the hair quality for it I guess. Well, this is a vision and more of a wish, so I will assume have long white hair. The age of cutting your hair short and curling it like a poodle is long gone. Hopefully, we will see more women with long hair in old age. I think it’s really beautiful.

My focus this week  – My focus this week is to get us all organized, packed and in one piece to Sweden. And then just to reeeeelaaaaax.

The event of the week – On Thursday it’s Ace’s cousin Harry’s second birthday. So we are going to his party and I think it will be loads of fun. And then on Friday, I’m going to my favorite designer’s showroom – Ida Sjöstedt. To have a look at the new collection. I’m really excited!

My lesson from last week – I was a bit worried about working from an office for the first time. But I didn’t need to at all, I absolutely love it. It’s so nice to be out of the house amongst other grown-ups getting to be Tess for 2 days a week. I still get my time with Ace and I feel like it’s a win-win.

My little luxury this week – I might have a little browse in tax-free at the airport. I fancy a new highlighter…

My inspiration this week  – If you are an influencer I think you should follow the xInfluence Instagram account. Not only because I’m the one who runs it (ha!). But mainly because we put up really useful stats and advice for influencers in the over 30s genre. It’s all about empowerment and understanding your worth.

What is your dream, mantra, goal, and event this week?

Photo – Ida Zander. Location – Minnow Clapham. I have tagged my outfit on my LikeToKnow.it account. 

 

7 Reasons why Instagram removing likes is awesome

I was on TRT World "Round table" and discussed likes on Instagram. And I want to tell you exactly why Instagram removing likes is a really good thing;

I was recently on TRT World “Round table” and discussed the be or not to be of likes on Instagram.

If you have seen the episode, you know I’m all for removing them. And I want to tell you exactly why Instagram removing likes is a really good thing.;

 1. It will benefit creativity.

At the moment too many people post photos on Instagram, not because they like that particular shot. But because they think other people might like it. We are so worried to have a drop in engagement that we don’t dare to try anything new or take any risks. Instead, we reduce ourselves to a particular formula – “A specific filter, 2-3 different shots done over and over again and captions that are funny enough to get a <3”.

If we remove the likes, hopefully, creators will dare to actually think outside the box and become creative again.

2. It’s great for mental health.

Both for influencers and followers. Not only will it make the “like chasers” chill out a bit and stop beating themselves up when a post doesn’t “do well”. It will also stop people worry about what other creators and companies might think if they don’t have the like engagement they are “meant to have”. It will remove a bit of the popularity contest online. And this will benefit everyone.

Instagram is meant to be fun, creating is meant to be exciting. Not depressing and based on what other people think.

3. It will make engagement pods a lot less prominent.

I even heard about a service the other day that offers a plug-in that will like the photos on your engagement pod for you. *sigh* Really? Right now a lot of people feel like they have to be in like-groups to keep their engagement up because their organic reach isn’t what it used to be. Removing likes will take away the urgency and need for these things. Fine, you can still be in follow/comment/save groups. But with the likes hidden, I have a feeling the popularity of pods will go down since it won’t be a “quick fix” anymore.

Imagine if all the engagement on Instagram actually was organic. I think we would be surprised at what we would see.

4. Engagement is so much more than likes.

I have spent a bit of time at Instagram’s offices and I was with them at Soho Farmhouse for a creator’s day a while ago. There they explained that the algorithm looks at so much more than likes and comments. It counts how long someone stops at your photo, if they swipe in a carousel, how many seconds of a clip they watch. If they go to your profile, if they save the photo and much more. Comments and likes are only the tip of the iceberg.

That’s why I these days never really worry if I put up a post that doesn’t get loads of likes.

5. It will make us post more.

I have a feeling that this is one of the main reasons why Instagram might want to remove the likes. We have stopped posting as much out of fear of diluting our likes, annoying our followers and have a photo with bad engagement. If no one can see the likes more than us, hopefully, this won’t matter as much and we might dare to put up more photos. The trend is to post less and less, something that removing likes might change.

6. Liking is fickle.

Something a lot of people fail to see is that likes are not a sure thing. You can have an amazing following and get low like numbers and it might be nothing wrong with the content. Things like the age of your followers play in. People over 30 like less, they use Instagram more as tv. And this is arguably the most affluent followers you have. Think about that for a second!

Also where your followers are from makes a huge difference. Certain cultures are “warmer” than others. In some countries, it’s “uncool” to like too many photos. If your following is mainly Scandinavian for example, you will have fewer likes than if they are based in the states. It’s cultural.

All of this will go with Instagram removing likes.

7. It will be a lot easier to show true engagement.

Instagram got great features on the business and creator profiles. We can see a lot about our followers and the way they behave. This will still stay the same. So instead of companies only judging influencers on the like number and amount of followers, they will ask you to screenshot your stats. Imagine how much better information this will be to have. It will clean up social media marketing to an extent.

What do you guys think? Will removing likes be a good thing or do you see any problems and negatives with it? 

Photo – Ida Zander. My top is by Coast (affiliate link) and my sunnies by Glassing.

 

The Sustainable wardrobe – Underwear by Organic Basics

Sustainable underwear - After a long pregnancy and nursing my baby, my underwear was spent. Organic Basics does exactly what it says on their recycled box.

After a pregnancy and nursing my baby, my underwear was spent. 

It’s hard to understand what a beating your knickers and bras will take when you are pregnant before you actually experience it. And you can’t go out and buy a full wardrobe of pregnancy wear for only such a short time. So you make do with a lot of things you already own.

In the beginning, it was ok, but as the belly and boobs grew, my poor little beautiful bras and knickers got more and more stretched. When I got rid of them in my big Marie Kondo clear out, 90% had to go straight in the bin. Knickers looking more like something Tupac might have worn. Bras stained with milk and straps holding on by a thread.

So when I actually had a chance of re-setting my entire underwear wardrobe. I decided it needed to be sustainable and organic.

I’m still very much of a “mom”. Ie, sexy silks are nice. But realistically I need my underwear to be comfortable, hardwearing and seamless. I don’t want to have to think about VPL, wedgies or boobs falling out when I’m on the floor playing with Ace and Olive.

Sustainable underwear - After a long pregnancy and nursing my baby, my underwear was spent. Organic Basics does exactly what it says on their recycled box.

The challenge was to find basic underwear that is also sustainable and organic. So I decided to try out a company that does exactly what it says on their recycled box – Organic Basics.

It’s easy, everyday basic underwear and sleepwear. Great colors, no underwire, seamless, comfortable and good both for my skin and nature.

Organic Basics weave silver into their “SilverTech” items, and it makes them antibacterial and heat regulating. It’s brilliant since it means more wear and fewer washes. Their organic cotton is GOTS certified and you can even buy packs of the most popular combinations at a discounted cost.

I got a few bits in the rose color to sleep in and some nude underwear for everyday comfort. Now when I know how comfy they are I will probably order some more in black too.

You can find Organic Basics here. I highly recommend having a look at the different packs available. They are a great money-saving option. 

I would like to have a couple of pieces of slightly fancier silky underwear too. But I do want them to be sustainable. Maybe you have some suggestions of brands I should try?

You can from today find a collection of curated edits of all the sustainable brands I have reviewed under “My sustainable edit” here on the blog (just below the header). Every time I come across a great sustainable brand I will make an edit and post it on that page.

I’m hoping this will remove some of the efforts of sourcing and of putting together a sustainable capsule wardrobe for you. 

*This post contains gifts by Organic basics.

 

My 15 best hands-on tips for beautiful skin

My 15 best hands-on tips for beautiful skin

I’m 36 years old, I have experienced the hormonal journey that is pregnancy, I spent a little bit too much time in the sun in my teens and on top of this I’m a model that specializes in beauty.

Quite the tricky equation to be honest.

As we know by now age, sun and hormones are going to negatively affect our skin. In an industry where I’m basically being compared to girls 10 years younger than me. I have to be very mindful of how I treat my skin to be able to even continue booking jobs.

There are many blog posts and articles on skin out there that are written by 20 somethings. To be honest, even though you might have experienced a few things by then. Most likely the hard bit is still to come. And if you are meant to make a living off your face. You are going to have to have a few tricks up your sleeve.

And I do. (Or I wouldn’t still be booking Max Factor campaigns. )

So I’m going to give you all the advice I have. No matter if you are in your 20s wanting to prevent or older and want to keep what you got.

These are my 15 best hands-on tips for beautiful skin;

1. I’m sorry but I have to. Sun protection – There, it’s said. You can read more about it in my blog post here.

Let’s move on to some less obvious stuff.

2. Sleep – Your skin regenerates when you sleep. If you are not sleeping enough or don’t have a very good quality of sleep, you are going to notice.

I put an alarm on my phone at 10 to start getting ready. Then I know I will be finished with it all the faffing I need to do and will be in bed for 11 at the latest. I get up at 7, so I aim for 8 hours of good quality sleep every night.

Make sure you get at least 7 hours a night, more if you can. It will make a world of difference. And if you are sleeping a lot, but the quality isn’t great. Start taking a magnesium supplement before bed. It will help your muscles relax. 

3. Stop touching your face! – Girls, I see you doing it on the tube all the time. 

You have lots of dirt and bacteria on your hands and when you touch your face without having washed first, it will be transferred onto the much more delicate skin on your face. This can lead to breakout if you are lucky and to all kinds of nasty skin conditions if you are unlucky. 

You would hopefully not rub your face against the seat on the underground, so why let your hands do it for you? This piece of advice is obviously meant to be applied everywhere. The only time you should touch your face is when you are washing it or applying makeup.

Also, try not to let other people touch your face unless they have cleaned their hands first. I know it’s a bit unromantic, but if your partner is a face toucher. Get him some hand sanitizer before a cuddle session. 

4. On the same subject as above – Change your towels and pillowcases regularly.

I can’t believe how many people don’t do this. Water, sweat, old skin, makeup, and god knows what else will quickly breed bacteria. If you want to be spot-free you have to make sure to change your pillowcases and face towels once a week. 

5. Throw away old makeup and wash your makeup brushes.

We should be applying makeup, not bacteria to our skin. Get yourself a really good brush cleaner. Have a spray for a quick spritz now and then and do a big clean of your brushes once a month.

Try not to put your fingers in your makeup and beauty products. Follow the guidelines on when to throw them away (there will be a best-before-date on the tub) and never ever share brushes or makeup with anyone else.

6. Rehydrate, have less caffeine and alcohol.

Skin is basically water. And both caffeine and alcohol dehydrate. So the best thing we can do for our skin is to drink plenty of water (not juice, not soda, not sports drinks – regular H2O!).

I’m very careful with alcohol just because I know how much it affects the health of my skin. I’m pretty sure you know what “wine face” looks like. We all have an auntie, friend or work colleague with that slightly puffy yet saggy, red and swollen face. Use the picture of them in your mind as motivation to say no to that third drink. 

7. Cut down on sugar, wheat, and dairy.

I don’t say skip it, but if you eat or drink an excessive amount of any of these things it will most likely affect your skin. Some people are a lot more sensitive to these foods than others.

And if you have a problem with your skin, I would try cutting them all out one at the time for a little while. To see if it would make a difference. I personally know a very successful model who went from calling herself “pizza face”, to booking huge beauty campaigns when she cut out dairy. 

8. Take your vitamins and supplement – Most likely you are not getting enough from your food.

It’s a great thought that we should all be nourished from the produce we eat. But the truth is, very few of us are. Unless you live on top of a Swiss alp, grow all your own vegetables and shoot your own goats for dinner. Most likely you are lacking.

I take a multivitamin, probiotics, omega oils, collagen, magnesium, zink, vitamin B, vitamin d (in the winter) and for one week a month, I also add iron. 

Our stomachs and skin are connected. If you have an unhealthy gut, it will show in your face. I cannot stress how much of a difference probiotics make. Get one with as many different strains as possible and take it ever day. You can thank me later.

9. Stop rubbing your face and eyes.

If you are constantly rubbing your eyes, not only will you load then full of nasty bacteria. The skin will also become red, puffy and raw. By rubbing you are stretching and pulling on the really delicate skin around your eyes. It’s a dangerous game and you should try your best to stop rubbing no matter how tired you are.

When we are on the subject of rubbing. Don’t do it with your towel either. Pat your face dry. Otherwise, you end up giving yourself a pretty rough exfoliation every time you wash your face. There are plenty of great products for that. 

10. Go see a dermatologist – prevention is key.

Even if you have no problems. Find out what you can do to to keep it that way. If you can stop something from becoming a problem then it’s a heck of a lot easier than dealing with it once it has happened. 

11. Take charge of your skincare – Educate yourself!

There are lots of great ingredients out there that can help with all kinds of beauty problems. But if you don’t read up, you might not know about them. Our skin is not generic, we all have completely different needs. Don’t buy what works for someone else. Read up and start experimenting to figure out what works for you.

We can’t be lazy if we want good skin. 

12. Know your options – just in case.

My mom had her eyes “done” in her 40s. It was a fairly quick, but pretty expensive surgery. To be honest, it was a great success. Not only does she look a lot more awake, but the skin that was resting on her eyelid actually made her feel sleepy. However, the same thing could have been fixed with botox in her 30s. 

I think she would have been a lot happier with her eyes if she would have started botox earlier and maybe had the surgery later (if she even would have needed it). She walked around a bit too long being unhappy about it. And I think it’s really common.

I don’t say – get botox or surgery ( I have had neither). But I’m also not saying don’t get botox or surgery. You do what will make you happy. But decide sooner rather than later.

13. Give your face a massage now and then.

I have a little gadget that I use most evenings to gently massage my face with a bit of face oil. This is to get the blood flowing and really help my skincare sink in deep. Also, it helps to relieve little tensions in my face and that’s just a relaxing little bonus.

14. Give your face make up free days – Our skin needs to breathe.

We are not meant to put gunk in our faces. That is just something we as a society have made up. So to make sure we aren’t overloading our faces with products that cause all kinds of blockages. Make sure to go make up free at least one day a week. And do it proudly too, you are beautiful just the way you are.

15. Be aware of hormones.

There is not much we can do about them but we can stay away from putting more into our bodies. I’m both talking about as a contraceptive, but also through our food.

Hormones are great things when they are balanced. If they are out of balance, they can really screw with our bodies and our skin. So just be aware, take note when you change your contraception and try to eat as clean as possible. 

Wow, this is a long blog post. But I truly wanted to give you ALL my best advice. I can’t promise you perfect skin, but I can hand on heart say that you will notice the difference if you follow these 15 best hands-on tips for beautiful skin.

Photo – Ida Zander

 

Mindful Monday 15th July

So I got big news guys - I have a new job! You are looking at the "Head of creative talent" at xInfluence! This is my dream, mantra, goal, and lesson ...

So I got big news guys – I have a new job!

You are looking at the “Head of creative talent” at xInfluence!

xInfluence is an influencer agency focusing on Generation X ie the 35-55 market. A hugely affluent crowd that often are completely forgotten about. I’m so excited to get to be a part of finding these gems that are out there feeling totally unappreciated even though they bring great value.

I just want to shout “I see you!” … and now I have a chance of actually changing how the market looks at us over 30. It’s an amazing task, it will be really hard work, but I’m super passionate about influencing and influencers. So it’s the perfect job for me.

Basically, it’s a more grown-up approach to influencer marketing. It’s about time people see, there aren’t just kids in this space.

I will, of course, still be doing my own influencing and blogging. So don’t you worry. I promise I will keep on updating my Instagram and blogs as usual.

And on that note – time for my (slightly new-job focused) Mindful Monday list;

This is my dream, mantra, goal, and lesson this week; 

My mantra this week  – ” This job is what I make of it”. Right now I have the perfect opportunity to create my own dream job. It’s a brand new company and I can basically choose what my role will be. A little bit daunting, but mostly a really exciting opportunity.

My affirmation this week – ” I know this”. I have been an influencer for over 12 years,  know this market really well, listen to several podcasts, read plenty of newsletters and research all things influencing whenever I have a spare minute. I might not have worked in an office before, but I do know the job. So I have to trust in myself and my knowledge.

My goal this week – The goal this week is to find my feet at the office, structure my days the most efficient way and to get to know as much about the company and platform as I possibly can.

My dream of the week  – I’m dreaming of a seamless life. Like a watch where all tiny pieces work together towards a bigger purpose. To be able to rely on things getting done and not having to do it all myself. Both at home and at work. I believe in routines and delegating anything I’m not great at. I dream of being able to look at a weakness of mine and say – I will get someone else to do this.

So I got big news guys - I have a new job! You are looking at the "Head of creative talent" at xInfluence! This is my dream, mantra, goal, and lesson ...

My vision this week – I envision myself a year from now. In a large bustling office organizing educational workshops, coaching and meeting with influencers and planning fun events. I want to be a person that people can come to with basically anything and I will do my best to help them out. I hope the influencers I will work will feel like they can trust me.

My focus this week  – My focus this week is to juggle the new job at xInfluence and the blogs. I have to figure out exactly when to do what and how I can structure it all to fit around family life.

The event of the week – Starting my job today was pretty big. I didn’t really know what to expect, but the office is great. Mark that I work with is lovely. And the product is exactly what I wanted it to be. So far everything is great.

My lesson from last week – Don’t stay up to late even one night. I then get used to going to bed late and end up sleeping a lot less. It worked before I had kids, but not anymore. You can’t snooze a toddler.

My little luxury this week – I’m thinking I might treat myself to something nice as a little pat on the back for getting this job at xInfluence. What do you think I should do or get?

My inspiration this week  – An account that always makes my day a bit better is Bodyposipanda. She has the best outlook on life and I love her colorful feed.

What is your dream, mantra, goal, and lesson this week?

Photo – Ida Zander. Outfit – Dea Kudibal  (affiliate link)

 

The rise of couture beauty

The rise of couture beauty and how to customise our skincare - Personalization is all the rage at the moment. Clothing, jewelry, makeup, and even beauty can be customized these days. I call it "couture beauty"

Personalization is all the rage at the moment. 

Clothing, jewelry*, makeup and even beauty can be customized these days.

We have a need to express ourselves as individuals and do things our way. Even if it’s sometimes by doing exactly the same as everyone else (Celine letter necklace anyone?)

Still, it’s about expression and having something that is a bit extra special to us. And it’s absolutely amazing if we can customize items to the point that we will use it more often. Because then it becomes more sustainable too. With fashion, jewelry, and makeup we are using these small personal changes to feel unique. But in skincare, it’s a completely different thing.

Whilst it’s great fun to be able to customize our clothing and looks. With skincare, it is a necessity.

I actually can’t believe it has taken us this long to realize that all our skins have different needs. That we are not just dry, oily, sensitive or mixed skin. That some of us have wrinkles and oily skin, that others have acne and dry skin. Rosacea, pigmentation, large pores, uneven skin texture, dullness, loss of elasticity… There are hundreds of combinations. And finally, we will be able to concoct a skincare routine specifically suited to our own skin.

I’m calling it couture beauty. Because it basically is. And it’s glorious!

The rise of couture beauty and how to customise our skincare - Personalization is all the rage at the moment. Clothing, jewelry, makeup, and even beauty can be customized these days. I call it "couture beauty"

The tricky bit is to figure out exactly what our skin needs.

It is going to take a bit more research from our side. We might have to pop in to see a dermatologist or at least a facialist to get an idea of what our skin actually needs. And then we have to do our homework on all the different active ingredients we have to choose from.

Brands like The Ordinary (affiliate link) is completely changing the way we view skincare. Instead of buying a “one fix all” we now have a veritable pick and mix selection to choose from. We can soon customize our skincare down to the most minute little detail. This is couture beauty at it’s best.

And if this seems a bit daunting, Clinique (affiliate link) has recently launched “Clinique ID”. You simply combine two products chosen by you based on your skin type and add them together. Pick from 3 bases and 5 cartridges and you got 15 different combinations to choose from. You just pop the cartridge into your base and you are ready to go. Not as specific as products from The Ordinary, but a lot easier if you feel a bit lost in the beauty jungle.

I’m so excited to see skin care companies taking such a great leap forward and I can only imagine what comes next. Maybe one day we sit down in a chair in Selfridge’s. A machine quickly zooms over our skin, makes a few calculations and spits out the perfect combination of ingredients in a little personalized bottle just for us.

This is basically what my wet dreams are made of. If anyone is inventing this and need a human guinea pig to try it out, pick me!

In all seriousness, I love where this is going. Both in fashion and beauty. Anything that treats us as individuals with different tastes, opinions, looks, and needs is brilliant in my books.

Honestly now, how do you feel about couture beauty? Do you dare to experiment with more active ingredients or would you like a bit more guidance to feel comfortable?

* My gorgeous necklace in the photos is a gift from Monica Vinader and all the charms + the links can be unclipped and moved. This necklace can even become a bracelet (or two). If that’s not customizing than I don’t know what is. The product from Clinique in the photos is gifted too. 

 

How to curate a wardrobe of memories (& why you need a military jacket)

How to curate a wardrobe of memories - My latest holiday find is this amazing pre-loved military jacket I got at the farmers market in Hossegor.  The lady who sold them imports old Korean military jackets and customizes them.

One of my favorite things to do when I’m abroad is to go to local markets and second-hand shops. 

It’s nice to get the flavor of the area and to mingle with the locals.

However, it can be hard to know what is or isn’t a tourist area or tourist shop if you haven’t been in that particular spot before. A good hack is that even people living locally will need to go somewhere to buy food. Most places have a weekly market. And not many tourists shop second-hand on holiday (unless it’s Paris …everyone shops second hand in Paris). So to find a market and second-hand shop are my best tricks to make sure I get to experience the genuine life and culture of a country.

I’m always looking for those special pieces of clothing to bring home. I believe that items keep memories. You will look at something purchased abroad and relieve the feeling of that particular moment. The best thing about it is if I get something I need, AND it becomes a part of a nice memory from the trip, I kill two birds in one stone. Heck, even three birds if the item is pre-loved!

I adore the idea of having a wardrobe full of memories. 

It’s also an excellent way to make sure I buy something no one else at home will have. I like diversity in my wardrobe and the last thing I want to be is trendy.  Buying off-brand abroad (away from tourist shops) is a great way to make sure you get a one-off item.

How to curate a wardrobe of memories - My latest holiday find is this amazing pre-loved military jacket I got at the farmers market in Hossegor.  The lady who sold them imports old Korean military jackets and customizes them.

My latest holiday find is this amazing pre-loved military jacket I got at the farmers market in Hossegor.

The lady who sold them imports old Korean military jackets and customizes them. I love the idea of taking something negative and changing its purpose to a positive one. This jacket never asked to be used for war and now it’s bringing joy. It’s like the fabric has been redeemed.

Every good capsule wardrobe needs a military jacket.

It’s such a versatile piece of clothing. Lightweight enough for the warmer months of the years, but it still keeps me warm when it’s windy or during chillier nights. I use mine mainly walking the dog or doing the nursery run, but it looks amazing even over a dress paired with sneakers. Every time I wear this jacket people come up to me on the street and ask me where I got it from.

It’s seriously oversized, has a few little holes and snags and I love it. “Enjoy every moment” really resonate with me since it’s something I try to do every single day (and still often struggle with). I believe that happiness lies in the moment, not in the future or the past.

The happiest person is he or she who is here right now, enjoying this very moment in its full glory. 

Photographer – Ida Zander.

I can unfortunately not find you a pre-loved military jacket from Hossegor, but these are pretty cool too – 

 

Do you have to pick a dream or can a dream pick you?

How do we get what we want especially if we don't really know what we want in the first place?  I have never had a "dream job", a "dream man", a "dream wedding" or a "dream trip".  

How do we get what we want especially if we don’t really know what we want in the first place?

I have never had a “dream job”, a “dream man”, a “dream wedding” or a “dream trip”.

This doesn’t mean that I never had dreams. I had plenty of those. But they were never attached to physical things. Instead, I dream of things like feeling safe, happy, fulfilled, passionate and loved.

As a young girl, I found the choices in school incredibly daunting as I never felt like I actually wanted to become something particular. And it wasn’t that I wanted to marry rich and become a comfortable housewife (as my mother kept on nudging me towards half-jokingly, but also kind of seriously). Instead, I felt like the options were too many and it wasn’t that I didn’t want any of them – I wanted all of them!

I felt like any choice or particular dream would limit me. I had this very strong belief in myself that I could literally do anything if I put my mind to it and worked really hard. I worried more about what I would lose out on than I actually would gain. It was like standing in front of a row of open doors and not wanting to close even one of them of fear of missing out. I couldn’t choose!

You see I have never been amazing at any one thing.

There has never been a subject where I particularly excelled. Nothing that came “naturally” to me. An interest that was much bigger than the others. A sport I was more suited to than the rest or even anything I actually disliked doing. I have always been pretty good at everything. Not excellent, just good.

It would have made my life a lot less stressful if something would have come to me easier than the rest. If one subject would have jumped out I would probably have felt some kind of calling to dedicate my life to that particular area of expertise.

But no. I was pretty ok at everything and because of that, I felt like any choice would be a wild guess. My neurotic inner voice didn’t want to make any decisions that I might regret later. So I didn’t really make any decisions at all.

I didn’t go to university. I honestly still have no idea what I would have studied. If anyone asked me today what I want to be when I grow up, I would tell you the same as 10 years ago – I have no idea!

I didn’t find my careers, my careers found me. Modeling kind of just happened when I was a kid because Mom was a model. I was good at it, it made me money and I enjoyed the traveling and meeting new people. So I  stuck with it.

I started the blog so that I wouldn’t have to be on the phone to my family in Sweden every day, telling them what I was up to here in London. It was never meant to be anything more. The rest just happened and since I was good at it, I enjoyed it and kept going.

How do we get what we want especially if we don't really know what we want in the first place?  I have never had a "dream job", a "dream man", a "dream wedding" or a "dream trip".  

Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly hard working and I’m really good at what I do (if I may say so myself). But it has all happened after the choice was made for me.

If I was going to be a model, I was going to be the hardest working model out there. Same thing with blogging. If I was going to be doing it, I wanted to be the expert. It was the only way I could justify dedicating myself to a subject.

And to be brutally honest the subject could have been almost anything.

Some days I wish I would have been less indecisive and just chosen a direction and stuck with it. But then I look at where I am now and I’m completely content and happy. I sometimes wonder if I have wasted my talent. But for that thought to count, I would have to have some kind of idea of what that talent is.

My life has been a series of non-choices and still, I have lived in 4 different countries, I have 3 jobs and I’m really happy. I have a dreamy man ( that I never dreamt of), a dreamy wedding (that I only started imagining a year before it happened), 3 dreamy careers (that I never really chose) a dreamy house, a dreamy dog and a dreamy kid. I’m living the dream I never really had.

So the conclusion is that maybe you don’t need to know exactly what you want in life? Maybe some things will just work itself out as you go along. Maybe the choices are just an illusion. Maybe I would have ended up here no matter what I would have chosen?

This way of life is actually quite exciting. I’m feeling like I can turn a corner and bump into something new at any time. It keeps things really interesting. I’m not sure it is for everyone, but for me it still makes me feel like all options are open and that I can be anything I want to be and do anything I put my mind to.

Anyone else out there who hasn’t really picked a path? Maybe the dream picked you? It would be nice to know I’m not alone. Or the opposite? Who was born with a calling and grew up with a dream? Please share in the comments.

Photo – Ida Zander. Blouse – Geo by George

 

Mindful Monday 8th July

Happy Monday guys! Are you on holiday, or are you like me, working away still?

We actually only have one trip booked this summer, and it’s 5 days in Sweden at the end of July. Ace’s little cousin Harry is turning 2, so we wanted to be there to celebrate with him.

But the rest of the summer we will be here in the UK. It’s mainly a choice out of a sustainable perspective. We don’t want to fly more than necessary and since we have friends and family all over the world. We rather save our CO2 for when it really matters.

This summer I’m keen to try out some nice spots for weekend staycations instead. Somewhere preferably dog-friendly we can go to chill out outside of London for a weekend.

Do you maybe have any nice places you have been to and would like to recommend?

This is my vision, mantra, goal, and lesson this week; 

My mantra this week  – “Pay close attention to those who do not clap when you win”. It’s not really a mantra, but important none the less. You can learn a lot about the people in your life in bad times, but almost even more in good. Some people feed off negativity and will be your best friend when you are down. Those are also the ones that will pick you apart and dampen your happiness when you are up. Look out for these and get as far away from them as possible. Never let them ruin your win.

My affirmation this week – “Be a rock in a wild sea”. No matter how much things around you change, know who you are, what you stand for and be rooted enough in yourself to stand tall and trust yourself. Change is exciting, but it’s easy to be swept away.

My goal this week – I want to hit my 2 hot yoga classes this week. I have been bad at going lately, but I managed to go once last week, so it’s about time I get into it again. I feel so much better after a proper stretch and a sweat.

My dream of the week  – I dream of a big house in South Africa. Dark wood, big linen sofas, a large indoor-outdoor living room, a view of the sea and an infinity pool. This is a dream Garth and I are working actively towards. It’s too early to say it’s a goal, but soon.

My vision this week – I really want to take Ace sailing in Sweden when he is older. I’m really keeping my fingers x that he hasn’t inherited his dad’s seasickness. I come from a boating family. We love fishing, swimming, and sailing. I would love for Ace to grow up with a bit of the sea in his life.

My focus this week  –  This week I’m setting myself up to start my new job next week. I’m really excited and I have hundreds of ideas. But first I need to make sure Ace is signed up for more time at the nursery, that Olive has extra walks with Cathy and that Garth knows what to do in the mornings (he will do drop offs).

The event of the week – From having none last week, I actually have 3 fun events in the next few days. Tomorrow I’m going to a lovely lunch for a favorite brand – Monica Vinader. On Wednesday I’m invited to breakfast at the RewardStyle hq and on Thursday Christie’s are showing off some of the most gorgeous Hermes bags going up for auction.

My lesson from last week – It was really fun to meet Gia for drinks last Friday. And it showed me that I do need to take time for myself to see my friends more often. Ace is sleeping in the evenings anyway, so I don’t actually need to be home every night. Garth and I can take turns hanging out and getting some non-parent time. And of course, we can always get a sitter so we both can go.

My little luxury this week – I think I might splurge on a couple of Diptyque candles and/or diffusers for the house. I love “Baies” and “Mimosa” (affiliate links) and want my home to smell gorgeous the rest of the summer.

My inspiration this week  – I like this article on self-efficacy I found on Thrive Global. It’s basically about how our own beliefs in our own skills affect the outcome.

What is your vision, mantra, goal, and lesson this week?

 

This is why you should wear your clothes over and over again

Do you remember when it used to be uncool to wear an outfit too often? Everything should be new and the idea of recycling outfit was frowned upon. 

Do you remember when it used to be uncool to wear an outfit too often?

You could “get away” with wearing a dress a few times if you took notice of who had already seen it on. The more separated your different friendship groups were, the better for your wallet. The idea of recycling outfits too often was frowned upon.

You were meant to have a lot of clothes and not only that. It was all meant to be brand new and on trend.

We wanted to look like we constantly had something previously un-worn to put on. Like we had an endless walk-in wardrobe of choice and a spending account á la Paris Hilton. (Don’t forget the chihuahua!)

To have the other girls whisper “she’s got something new on today again, how does she do it?” as we breezed past in our not even washed yet bootcut jeans and tank tops, was the ultimate dream of teenage girls.

Do you remember when it used to be uncool to wear an outfit too often? Everything should be new and the idea of recycling outfit was frowned upon. 

As a blogger of 12 years, I remember feeling that same pressure. I had to constantly try to keep up with showing my followers the latest trends, the must-have item of the week and how to style it in a way that was “current” and “now”.

It was exhausting. And the solution was fast fashion. A lot of it.

I would get some for free, buy loads and then borrow the rest. And still, I never felt like I could keep up.

My new clothes were never new enough and once I had shot it or worn it to an event they were considered old and boring. Most of it ended up on the bottom of my wardrobe, some in big boxes in the basement and I gave lots away to friends and family. You would never see me recycling outfits.

I really struggled to know what to actually keep and didn’t know the difference between having style and being trendy. 

Do you remember when it used to be uncool to wear an outfit too often? Everything should be new and the idea of recycling outfit was frowned upon. 

Funny how quickly these things can change.

These days it’s truly the opposite. Not only for me but in general in society. We don’t want to be seen as “wasteful”, “vain” or taking too much advantage of mother nature. If a royal re-use an outfit they these days get praise instead of scorn in the tabloids. If you re-style a dress and wear it again, people think you are clever, not cheap.

It’s in fashion to be aware. To buy quality over quantity and to care about our clothes.

Where second hand used to be “dirty” and for “poor” people. It’s now re-named “pre-loved” and everyone is doing it. No one would lift an eyebrow if you stated that your new blouse is a find from Vestiaire Collective (affiliate link). If anything they would ask you how to spell it and go browsing the same evening.

Do you remember when it used to be uncool to wear an outfit too often? Everything should be new and the idea of recycling outfit was frowned upon. 

Obviously, a bit of this has to do with age and maturity. But most of all we have realized that it isn’t cool to waste resources and to pay poor workers in a third world country only a few pounds a month to produce all these sub-quality garments. We are finally aware of how the endless cycle of “buy-wear-throw” is unsustainable in more ways than one.

The perception has changed. Where we would in the past have looked up to the idea of having an unlimited wardrobe. We now want an edited collection of items that truly works for us. We covet to have a truly personal style and not be labeled as a fickle trend-lover.

To have new clothes all the time would be deemed as trying too hard. And the ignorance of wasting money and resources on yet another fast fashion item would be frowned upon by our peers.

Do you remember when it used to be uncool to wear an outfit too often? Everything should be new and the idea of recycling outfit was frowned upon. 

As with anything else fashion-related. There is a risk that this view of fashion is but another trend. I, of course, hope not. But even if it is. This small blip of awareness would already have made a world of difference.

Not only are we doing our own wallets a favor by wearing recycling outfits (PPW* guys!). We are also showing that brands and companies that make the clothes that we do care what they are made of, who has made them and at what cost.

Already we are seeing shifts in the market towards a much more sustainable view of fashion. And once that ball is rolling, it’s a hard one to stop. I have a hard time seeing that we would start caring less once we actually started or that companies would go backward in the effort of doing better by both people and nature.

It’s so liberating to buy an item I truly love and wear it over and over again. I don’t care who has seen it or what anyone else thinks. As long as it makes me happy, I will be recycling outfits and wear my clothes it until it falls apart (or sell them pre-loved). 

This dress was one of my best buys this year. It’s by H&M Conscious collection (affiliate link) and It has been one of my most worn outfits this summer. It’s a staple in my holiday wardrobe and will be for years to come. 

*Price Per Wear