Failure is a part of life, right? Everyone fails and that’s how we learn…bla bla bla. Great stuff in theory, but not much comfort when we feel like our ego has been run over by a garbage truck.
Truth is, failure is hard. And the more passionate you are about something and harder you have worked for it, the harder you fall.
So at that moment, when all you want to do is to melt into a little puddle on the street, you need a coping mechanism.
There are 5 things to do after you failed;
1. React – Get upset, it’s allowed! But don’t lash out, try to keep it contained to yourself for now. Don’t take any phone calls or answer any emails within the first few hours if you can help it. If you do, your hurt ego will be talking, so wait until you have had some time to go through the emotions before you do anything else.
2. Be kind – Don’t beat yourself up. It won’t do any good. If you made mistakes, you know what they were and you will learn from it. Take a moment and feel sorry for yourself, but keep it brief.
3. Revisit – Once you have calmed down, it’s very important not to avoid the issue or put a lid on it. Revisit it and make sure that you understand the situation completely. When we get upset, it’s easy to read into things in a different way than if we were thinking more rationally. So make sure you know what’s going on and that you have all the facts.
4. Make a plan – The best way of making yourself feel better and not get stuck in a negative situation is to make a plan. You might not be able to save this particular endeavor, but you can plan the steps to move past it and back on track again. This doesn’t have to be big plans, just a quick 3-step plan you can action in a short time. The most important thing is to not feel stuck.
5. Reward yourself – Failing is a lot harder than succeeding, so if there is any time we need a reward it’s when we have failed well. If you took all the steps above you are already on your way to somewhere better.
Daring to fail is a massive positive and one people don’t do enough of. We are so worried about being seen as a failure that we often freeze and don’t dare to do anything at all.
Thing is, just because we have failed, doesn’t mean we are failures. We just figured out a way that didn’t work. It’s elimination by trying. And only those that keep on trying will eventually find what does work. And if you follow these 5 steps after you failed, you will bounce back pretty quickly.
So what do you say, ready to risk to fail some more? Reach for some big goals? At least now you know what to do after you failed.