A great skill I have learned recently is to know how to regulate my pace depending on my circumstances.
I used to be one of those people with a very strict schedule. Who had a to-do list with a set amount of tasks to get done every day. I had a number of both Swedish and English blog posts to hit every week. I wanted to go to at least so and so many castings. Posts this many Instagram posts and attend a specific amount of meetings. At the same time, I was going to cook all of Aces organic food from scratch, not give in to screentime at all and only have him in the nursery for 12 hours a week.
Basically, I tried to be super-woman.
Until I realized that life is not that predictable. To assume I will get the same amount done every week is totally naive. I will only end up over-stretching myself or feeling bad about not having done enough. How silly!
I can’t lead life, life has to lead me.
These days I go with the flow. Some weeks I will be slowing right down and others I’m free to sprint ahead. I will probably end up doing the same amount of stuff anyway, just in a different rhythm. And I get to keep my inspiration and motivation.
Right now Ace is in some phase that makes him wake up every 15 minutes (I’m serious!). Last night I had to stop returning to my own bed and ended up folding myself into origami to fit next to him in his crib instead. It was the only way to make him sleep for a few hours. Daytime he is completely over-tired and not a happy bunny at all. So this week is challenging. It hurts my mom-heart to see him this sad. I don’t care about my sleep. But he really needs his on a completely different level. I always have coffee…
So obviously this is not a week for sprinting.
So I re-schedule meetings, lower the bar and only do the absolute essentials. To make sure I’m free to focus on him and his needs. Then if he is feeling better next week, I will pick up the slack. ( If I haven’t done my back in from sleeping in a tiny crib)
As my lovely friend Josefina reminded me on Whatsapp this morning – “This too shall pass”. Our lives will be filled with ups and downs and it’s up to us to come up with ways to cope.
Btw, does anyone else have these problems around 17-18 months? Is it a typical sleep regression?
After that big rant, are you ready for my mantra, vision, goal, & affirmation this week?
My mantra this week– “Back to basic”. Where will the little bit of energy I have left do most good this week? There is no space for any extras when we have rough patches with Ace. So I need to be really good at prioritizing to make sure the basics get done. The rest moves over to my to-do list for next week.
My affirmation this week – “I’m a good mom”. When we see our kids unhappy, it’s really easy to start wondering if we are doing something wrong. These kinds of thoughts will lead us down the worst kind of rabbit hole and nothing good will come from it. It’s completely natural for kids to go through stages. Think about how much their brains are growing, the nerves are making new connections and the body is working hard to grow and function even better. Imagine if we had to go through the same things as grownups, we would never have managed. So our kids are basically tiny superheroes.
My goal this week – I need to hit my 2 hot yoga classes at Yogahaven. If my exercise goes, I fall apart. So this has to be a priority. You can only pour from a full cup.
My dream of the week – I dream of a giant bookshelf filled only with books I love and will read over and over. I have started collecting all the books from the house into one pile for the next step of our Marie Kondo clear-out. aIt’s looking like only about 30% tops will get to stay. I will keep the classics and the really useful stuff. Fiction and silly books a lá “How to be Parisian” can go to the charit shop. ( I do not want to be Parisian. There are way too many stupid “cool” rules to follow. Why would you ever try to fake authenticity?)
My vision this week – I have started putting together a vision board for myself on Pinterest this week. A recurring theme is a large house with big windows, a view, in the middle of nature. I want to be able to see the stars at night and hear the bird song in the morning. I have had enough of smog and shouting foxes going through bins at night.
My focus this week – Ace. This week I’m all his. He is obviously going trough something difficult and I want to be there for him. These moments will define who he will be as a person later on and the least I can do is to be supportive as he is battling it out.
The event of the week – We are off to Exeter to see Garth’s best friends this weekend coming up. I hope nature, fresh air and a change of scenery will do us all good.
My lesson from last week – Have opinions and stick up for them. It’s easy as an “influencer” to not dare to say what’s on our minds. There will always be people who don’t agree. Considering how many we actually reach on a daily basis, it would be weird otherwise. So sometimes it’s easier to bite our tounges instead of taking the fight. But in the end, it should be based on what’s right for us, not on fear of a backlash. Discussions are important. They are there to make sure we get the full 360 view on a subject. The balance is to stand our ground without getting pig-headed. Noone is always right.
My everyday-luxury this week – It’s Garths birthdays tomorrow, so Cathy is coming over to watch Ace and I’m taking my dear hubby out for a nice meal. The times when we get to be Garth & Tess / man & wife instead of Mom & Dad are really important to our marriage. It’s a chance for us to reconnect on a different level.
My inspiration this week – I’m following this Instagram account called @BossBabe on Instagram and even though the name sounds a bit cliché I really love it. I love opening up my feed and find little words of encouragement. After my #MINDFLUENCING campaign, I have done a big Marie Kondo clean of my Instagram and only kept the accounts that spark joy and I’m really truly enjoying the app so much more now.
Have you had a chance to write down your mantra, vision, goal, & affirmation yet this week?
Photo – Ida Zander. Location – Venn street Clapham. My jeans are by Monki and the amazing “Choose Love” T-shirt is sold in support for the charity “Help refugees”. I really think you need one! – Adlinks (Any adlink revenue from the t-shirt will go to the charity)