The Importance of being single

The Importance of being single

Valentine’s day. Incredibly romantic, just like any old day or a big fat heart-shaped reminder that you are SINGLE?

To be married is totally practical. I have a date on valentines no matter if I believe in celebrating it or not (we most likely stay on the sofa watching Netflix like most other nights anyway). I have someone to wake up next to every morning and a kiss-account that never goes into overdraft.

We are conditioned by society to see marriage as the ultimate end-goal. You start off single, you do your best to meet someone and then you race to the finish line and boom you are married. 2.5 kids, a mortgage, a dog and you live happily ever after…

Single people are sad. They are very far away from the coveted end goal in life. They deserve our pity.

The poor single person who is all alone on Valentine’s, who goes to bed all on their own at night, who wakes up in an empty bed, that doesn’t have anyone that farts loud enough to wake them up at night, nobody’s socks to pick up from the kitchen floor for the millionth time and no one to answer to . Who can wake up when you feel like it on the weekends, have ice cream for dinner in bed and do whatever you bloody fancy.

To be single is not only really nice, but it’s also incredibly important.

It’s the only time in our lives when we are totally alone with our thoughts. When we have the opportunity to dig deep into what we want and even more importantly don’t want in life. It’s the time to experiment, explore and experience life. We only have the responsibility for ourselves and if we make a mistake, most likely it will affect only us.

It’s when we are single that we figure out what we don’t want in a partner. We meet loads of new people and realize pretty quickly that some personality traits are more compatible with ours than others.

It’s really easy to lose yourself in a relationship. So it’s incredibly important to have good self-knowledge from the start. To be a part of two people is a lot harder work than to be only one single person. Independence quickly becomes compromise and freedom is exchanged for responsibilities.

Of course, it’s amazing to be married and to have someone that loves you enough to want to spend all that time with only you. But it’s just as amazing to be single and care-free. And totally not sad in any way! If anything it’s the total opposite.

I’m so grateful for the times I was single in the past. It gave me the time and space to get to know myself, my likes and dislikes and I got to try on all different kinds of situations and people. In the end, it made me a better person and a much better wife to Garth.

So all you singles out there, celebrate that you love yourself enough not to settle before you are done getting to know yourself. 

Foto – Ida Zander for my #MINDFLUENCING campaign on Instagram. You can find my Whistles dress here  (adlink)

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