Hello Monday! How are you guys doing this week?
I have spent the weekend thinking really hard about what I want to do with my life.
Recently I have found my priorities shifting quite radically. I used to live for work and making money was such a big thing in my life. I think it was because my career was what got me out of Sweden and a situation I wasn’t very happy in when I was younger. So to me, money equals freedom.
But lately, I have realised that I don’t need that kind of “runaway” capital anymore. My worth is not in how much I make, I have biggerthings in my life now.
I’m not saying I want to become a housewife, just that I’m not sure I want to do what I’m doing.
I wouldn’t mind still doing a bit of modelling, but only with companies I actually like and feel I can support. The blog is great fun too, but I’m not sure it’s the fulfilling career I’m craving. I would like to keep both as hobbies and have a third career on top. Something that I can grow and feel that my hard work actually pay off. Both modeling and blogging are sometimes more about luck than hard work. It’s fun in many ways, but I feel like I need more.
The “cool” lifestyle is a bit “been there, done that, got the Gucci-t-shirt”. I have flown to Ibiza in private jets, stayed in opulent castles and mansions, been flown across the world first class for photo shoots, had lots of champagne and dated celebrities. I have followed trends, gone to events and galas, been a part of the jet set crew and lived the whole Instagram-lifestyle. It was all great fun, but looking back I’m not really sure if I did it for me or someone else.
I need to figure out what I’m actually good at and most importantly what makes me happy. I crave a change and I have matured in the speed of an avocado lately. Basically, everything changed over Christmas and now I’m all of a sudden onto a new chapter in my life.
Obviously having kids is a big part of it. But I also think I have gotten a lot more stable, calm and grounded. All in all, I think it’s a great thing. So my big goal in 2019 is to find my Ikigai – my passion in life.
Here is my dream, vision, goal, and focus this week:
My mantra this week – “If it doesn’t feel good, it’s probably not right”. At the moment I’m trying to evaluate my lifestyle. How does a certain situation make me feel? What do I want to keep in my life? I basically want to Marie Kondo my entire lifestyle. Only keep the things that “spark joy”. The key is gut feeling and I’m trying to get better at listening to my own intuition.
My affirmation this week – ” I can do and become what I want”. There are no frames except my own, no must except the ones I chose and no pressure except the one I put on myself.
My goal this week– I need to take time to think and plan. Garth is off to Amsterdam on Thursday and will be away for a week So I will have time in the evenings to plan, organize and figure things out. I have an idea where I want to end up in the future, but I will need an action plan.
My dream of the week – At the moment I’m craving nature. I’m dreaming of a proper adventurous trip with Ace and Garth. Maybe to South America, climb a mountain and spend some time in the jungle. It will, of course, have to wait until Ace is old enough, but that’s ok.
My vision this week – I want to wake up in the morning, get a log fire going, make myself a cup of coffee and read on the sofa to the sound of crackling wood until the rest of the family wakes up. After a long breakfast we all get dressed and head out for a walk in the woods. We only have to step outside to be in nature. Garth and I walk whilst Ace and Olive runs circles around us. It’s a dream about a house not situated in the middle of a big city…
My focus this week – It’s time for me to find a new routine. One with more focus on mindfulness, less stress, more quality time with myself and my little family. Less musts and more laughter. I want to switch tv for books and late nights for early mornings. (Not that I have a choice with a 15 month old in the house haha)
The event of the week – On Thursday I have a casting. It’s a company I like and would enjoy working with. I have turned down a few castings lately. Mainly because I’m tired of not feeling that the product is something I actually would want to personally recommend or if the brief has been weird*. Here on the blog it has always been me who chooses who I collaborate with. But with modeling us models are always so worried about upsetting the agency that we take almost any work we get. I want to only do work with companies I like. I know it’s a luxury, but I feel like it’s time.
*I had a casting sent to me lately where they were looking for “natural ” girls. But then in the brief, they said that we under no circumstance could have moles, scars, stretch marks or any flaws on our skin. Natural right?
My lesson from last week – I’m beginning to realize that I don’t have to take life so bloody seriously all the time. It should be fun to live and if we listen too much to the nay-sayers and those who like to criticize then it won’t be fun at all. It’s quite liberating to go “thank you for your opinion, I will keep it in mind, but for now, I’m going to do it like this”.
Another lesson I learnt last week was to not forget a half-eaten tampon (Ace got to it) in my pocket and then put the trousers in the machine. There is white fluff everywhere! I won’t make that mistake again…
My everyday-luxury this week – I’m aiming to be in bed for 10 when Garth is away. He is usually the one who is up with Ace in the morning ( I do nights) so I will have to be in bed at a decent time to be able to function the next day. I’m also planning a 30-minute digital detox curfew. It will give me some time to read a book in bed.
My inspiration this week – This week I’m inspired by my own #MINDFLUENCING campaign on Instagram. If there is ever a place that could do with some mindfulness, it’s social media. If you haven’t checked it out yet, do it now.
Now it’s your turn. What’s your dream, vision, goal, and focus this week: